Episode 14
#14 How to Have Perfect Relationships
Danielle, from The Single Truth podcast, and I, are back with the wonderfully insightful Yogi Amrit Desai (affectionately known as Gurudev) for a discussion on how to have perfect relationships. We delve deep into what is needed to achieve this with help from Gurudev's book 'The Yoga of Relationships' and also go through some real-life examples that you can apply to your own life.
Gurudev also takes us through a brilliant meditation which is certainly worth doing at the end! I really enjoyed this conversation and I hope you do too.
Key Takeaways:
- Once you have the power to accept yourself as you are, you have the power to accept others as they are.
- Often in relationships, people look for others to provide what they are lacking in themselves. You will not find it because the problem is hidden inside you!
- Most people interact with the present through the eyes of their past. It's important to let go of the past and your 'toxic memory stress centre' in order to live in the present moment and be truly happy.
- We can get so caught up in finding the right partner that we forget to be the right partner.
- You don't have to be perfect in self-acceptance all the time! As long as you have the intention, practice is key.
- No one can control the thinking of others!
So sit back, enjoy with an open mind - Stay Curious, and Stay Free and, very importantly, please do let us know what you think in the comments or the reviews. Thank you.
Episode Guest:
Gurudev Shri Amritji is one of a handful of Gurus who came to America in the early 1960's, pioneering a Yoga craze that has grown into the massive worldwide yoga practices we know today. He is the last living Guru from this initial wave.
Over the past 57 years, Amritji has founded some of the largest not-for-profit yoga centers in North America. The seeds of yoga he has planted have since grown into the Yoga Society of Pennsylvania, (founded in 1966), which became the largest of its kind by 1970. From the time he first began training yoga teachers in the early 1960s, today there are a total of more than 10,000 certified Yoga and Yoga Nidra teachers in more than 40 countries around the world.
Amritji founded two not-for-profit Kripalu Yoga Ashrams and program centers, one in Sumneytown, PA, in 1971 (with a resident staff of 50) that quickly expanded into a second center at Summit Station, PA, in 1976. This new center grew to a resident staff size of 150. By 1983, the Kripalu Yoga Centre (founded in Massachusetts) proved to be the largest Yoga and Health Centre in North America. A thriving international Yoga Center with 350 full-time resident and volunteer staff, this center accommodated more than 300 guests.
Under Amritji’s guidance, those disciples committed to the lineage and its teachings and became his acharyas - qualified to lead his programmes and yoga teacher training, not only at Kripalu but internationally.
In 2001, Amritji founded the Amrit Yoga Institute (AYI) in Salt Springs, Florida which has become a thriving international yoga and ayurveda center, where he presently resides and teaches.
You can learn more about GuruDev at:
Episode Guest:
Danielle Matthews: In June of 2012 Danielle was hit by a drunk driver and sustained a traumatic brain injury, setting her life on a different course. Her inspiring story and perspective has touched thousands around the world. Her intention is to use what she learned to impact the lives of others by educating on mindsets, technologies, and techniques that can empower them to get the most out of life.
Danielle is the co-founder of The Single Truth Podcast - with some great content coming soon!
Connect with Danielle:
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Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is to keep curious and keep free. The opinions of the guests do not necessarily represent the opinions of the host and vice versa - exploring different opinions is key to growth. The content in this podcast and on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or veterinary advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical or veterinary advice because of something you have heard on my podcast or website.
Transcript
I think today's conversation was
Speaker:very, very special.
Speaker:I will certainly be going back.
Speaker:I will listen to it multiple times
Speaker:because, as you say, knowing the
Speaker:theory is one thing, but doing the
Speaker:inner work, putting into practise,
Speaker:practise, practise, practise is
Speaker:absolutely key.
Speaker:Hello. I am your host,
Speaker:Catherine Edwards, from the Live
Speaker:Love Learn podcast.
Speaker:And once again, I'm back with my
Speaker:amazing co-host, Danielle
Speaker:Mathews from the Single
Speaker:Truth podcast.
Speaker:Now, Danielle, we have just had
Speaker:the second in our series
Speaker:of just absolutely wonderful
Speaker:conversations with Yogi Amarit
Speaker:Desai, who is
Speaker:affectionately known as Gurudev.
Speaker:And this time we are following on
Speaker:from last discussion on the
Speaker:ego.
Speaker:Extracts from this book, The Yoga of
Speaker:Relationships.
Speaker:We've just finished a beautiful
Speaker:meditation with him.
Speaker:How was it for you and what were
Speaker:some of your key takeaways,
Speaker:Danielle?
Speaker:Well, I think I'm still coming back
Speaker:and being grounded here.
Speaker:Gurudev holds such a beautiful
Speaker:presence and any time I do a
Speaker:meditation in his
Speaker:presence, be it through Zoom or
Speaker:in-person, I go really
Speaker:deep. So I'm incredibly grateful
Speaker:that he gifted that to everyone.
Speaker:And I hope everyone sits and
Speaker:experiences that.
Speaker:But today's conversation,
Speaker:I mean, I've been reading this book
Speaker:now, like going back through it.
Speaker:I have so many highlights sitting
Speaker:here and getting to actually
Speaker:go in with him and dissect
Speaker:it because it's a lot of theory in
Speaker:the book, which all sounds good and
Speaker:you can go, Okay, yeah, I get it.
Speaker:But then when the rubber hits the
Speaker:road, you
Speaker:know, you're getting challenged in
Speaker:life with your partner or with
Speaker:politician's decisions.
Speaker:And when you actually have to apply
Speaker:what he's saying, like it can be
Speaker:difficult. And you know, I was
Speaker:really grateful for yourself asking
Speaker:some questions and I was bringing up
Speaker:stuff from my own personal
Speaker:relationships of like, how do we
Speaker:actually deal with this in the
Speaker:moment? Because it's not so
Speaker:easy.
Speaker:You know, we've reached a time where
Speaker:we can't keep projecting outside
Speaker:of ourselves and expecting something
Speaker:else to change.
Speaker:We have to take self-responsibility
Speaker:and, you know, just keep moving
Speaker:forward. Otherwise,
Speaker:our world is not going to change
Speaker:around us if we keep doing the same
Speaker:things. So I'm with you.
Speaker:I go so deep with his meditations.
Speaker:They're short people, you know, I
Speaker:didn't really time it, but probably
Speaker:10 minutes and
Speaker:I'm very excited to see the
Speaker:feedback. Danielle I'm really
Speaker:excited that Gurudev has offered
Speaker:both our listeners the exciting
Speaker:opportunity to ask him some
Speaker:questions in the next
Speaker:video. So
Speaker:that is a great opportunity for
Speaker:anyone listening, isn't it?
Speaker:It is, because when you go
Speaker:to apply this in your life, you're
Speaker:immediately going to get a kick back
Speaker:like, well, it can't work here.
Speaker:What about this situation?
Speaker:Or This is unforgivable and
Speaker:he has this beautiful spirit.
Speaker:What I love is he when he teaches
Speaker:and he you take these intense
Speaker:situations to him, he brings
Speaker:this piece into it and he says,
Speaker:No, no, no. It really is as simple
Speaker:as just dissolving it.
Speaker:Now, I think he said today, fire
Speaker:the judge and hire the witness.
Speaker:Yes. And I thought, wow,
Speaker:what a profound statement
Speaker:to realise. Like all of that chatter
Speaker:in the mind, that's the judge, the
Speaker:ego. If you can just put that aside
Speaker:and witness what's going on
Speaker:and create some distance from it,
Speaker:you realise that you do
Speaker:have more choices than you think and
Speaker:it's so empowering and I
Speaker:think it it can be difficult though,
Speaker:Catherine, honestly for people to
Speaker:take this in because
Speaker:Gurudev leaves no space for you to
Speaker:be a victim of circumstance.
Speaker:That is your responsibility.
Speaker:Any conflict in your relationship,
Speaker:a problem you're having in life, at
Speaker:work, whatever it might be like,
Speaker:it's squarely rooted within you.
Speaker:And I think that's a hard pill to
Speaker:swallow initially.
Speaker:But then once you realise that, I'm
Speaker:like, it's the most empowering thing
Speaker:to realise, wow, no, I have the
Speaker:ability to shift and change and
Speaker:thus create the world that I want in
Speaker:the relationships I want.
Speaker:Yeah. And when people are listening,
Speaker:we're just giving you a snippet
Speaker:here. So please do listen to the
Speaker:full interview.
Speaker:Let us know in the comments below
Speaker:what you think.
Speaker:Danielle's contact details and mine
Speaker:are there. Then we will be collating
Speaker:a list of questions and deciding how
Speaker:to do the third interview, whether
Speaker:to do it as a live or to read
Speaker:out questions from people.
Speaker:So we will be doing that.
Speaker:And don't worry, there's nothing
Speaker:in his teaching that says
Speaker:that you should stay in abusive
Speaker:situations or abusive relationships,
Speaker:which I think is really very
Speaker:important to point out.
Speaker:But he gave certainly us all
Speaker:some really clear guidance today
Speaker:about how to distinguish when that's
Speaker:the case.
Speaker:So as usual, sit back,
Speaker:enjoy the full episode.
Speaker:Please do let us know your
Speaker:comments below and stay
Speaker:curious. Stay free.
Speaker:Danielle and I are thrilled to
Speaker:welcome back a very special
Speaker:guest with us today.
Speaker:Yogi Amrit Desai, whose
Speaker:disciples affectionately refer
Speaker:to him as Gurudev,
Speaker:for today's topic of how
Speaker:to have perfect relationships.
Speaker:Now, this is such an important topic
Speaker:for absolutely everyone.
Speaker:It impacts all areas of our life,
Speaker:our happiness and our interactions
Speaker:with others.
Speaker:I personally am so happy to discuss
Speaker:this with you, Danielle and Gurudev,
Speaker:because I know we're all going to
Speaker:get so much understanding about
Speaker:how managing our relationships
Speaker:can transform all areas of our
Speaker:lives.
Speaker:So, Danielle, you've been working
Speaker:with Gurudev for quite
Speaker:some while now, so please do tell
Speaker:us a little bit more about our
Speaker:wonderful guest today.
Speaker:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker:I would love to.
Speaker:I'm excited for this conversation as
Speaker:well. You know, I've been working
Speaker:with Gurudev for the last seven
Speaker:years.
Speaker:He just himself celebrated his 90th
Speaker:birthday.
Speaker:Gurudev grew up in India and
Speaker:he met his teacher when he was a
Speaker:teenager, which lit something
Speaker:up inside of him that, I would tell
Speaker:you, is still burning very, very
Speaker:bright today because he has
Speaker:dedicated his life to
Speaker:distilling the ancient yogic
Speaker:teachings and the secrets that were
Speaker:revealed to him by his master,
Speaker:Swami Kripalu.
Speaker:Gurudev brought these teachings over
Speaker:here to the West, and he was part
Speaker:of the initial craze that took off
Speaker:back in the sixties and has grown
Speaker:into all the diverse yoga practises
Speaker:that we see here today.
Speaker:Gurudev established the largest
Speaker:holistic centre here in North
Speaker:America when it was at its
Speaker:greatest bit.
Speaker:It had 350 full
Speaker:time volunteer resident
Speaker:staff, and they have the capacity
Speaker:to accommodate over 300 students.
Speaker:This was the Kripalu Centre for Yoga
Speaker:and Health, and Gurudev left
Speaker:Kripalu in the mid-nineties and
Speaker:he started to refine his own
Speaker:teachings even more into
Speaker:what is now known as the integrated
Speaker:Amrit method.
Speaker:I am yoga.
Speaker:I am yoga, Nedra.
Speaker:I am yoga therapy and quantum
Speaker:breath meditation.
Speaker:In 2001, he actually founded
Speaker:the Amrit Yoga Institute here in
Speaker:Salt Springs, Florida, which is
Speaker:where I currently live and he
Speaker:presently resides and teaches from.
Speaker:He was one of the first to arrive
Speaker:here in the US and he is the
Speaker:last living guru of this initial
Speaker:wave of teachers.
Speaker:And something that Gurudev always
Speaker:says that I truly believe as well
Speaker:is that if it doesn't change your
Speaker:life, it is not yoga.
Speaker:Now, Gurudev has authored many
Speaker:books, but today we are going to
Speaker:be talking about the book, The Yoga
Speaker:of Relationships, which has won over
Speaker:has won five book awards.
Speaker:Yes, Catherine, I've gotten so many
Speaker:notes in mine to,
Speaker:it's one that I have not been able
Speaker:to stop reading since I got it.
Speaker:It is highlighted and
Speaker:we are looking forward to the
Speaker:discussion today around this topic.
Speaker:Just wonderful.
Speaker:Well, Gurudev, that's an incredible
Speaker:bio by anyone's
Speaker:standards.
Speaker:And everyone who's listening today
Speaker:is going to get so much out of this
Speaker:conversation.
Speaker:And as a special treat
Speaker:to everyone, Gurudev is
Speaker:going to treat us all to a
Speaker:meditation at the end
Speaker:of this interview as well, which
Speaker:will really finish it off
Speaker:beautifully to us.
Speaker:So as Danielle's introduced, today
Speaker:we're going to explore the spiritual
Speaker:answers to problems when it comes to
Speaker:relationships using one
Speaker:of your wonderful books The Yoga of
Speaker:Relationships.
Speaker:Now, this book, the links
Speaker:for how to purchase it will be below
Speaker:because this is something
Speaker:that everyone needs to be reading.
Speaker:It is absolutely gold and it takes
Speaker:a lot of skill
Speaker:to really put such complex
Speaker:matters across so that
Speaker:people of all levels of
Speaker:understanding and experience can
Speaker:understand it.
Speaker:So I've as you can see,
Speaker:I've got marks all the way through
Speaker:it and I keep dipping back into it
Speaker:because there's so much information
Speaker:in there.
Speaker:So what we're going to be doing is
Speaker:applying these principles.
Speaker:When the challenges get really
Speaker:hard for us in our day to day life,
Speaker:we're going to be asking you some
Speaker:really useful questions about how we
Speaker:can really implement your teachings
Speaker:into everyday lives and the
Speaker:challenges that we all face.
Speaker:So my first question for you,
Speaker:Gurudev, is first and foremost,
Speaker:how are you today?
Speaker:How are you doing?
Speaker:I'm doing so excellent
Speaker:because I live in the present
Speaker:moment.
Speaker:I learn how not to
Speaker:live in the past because
Speaker:most people live their past
Speaker:in the present.
Speaker:They are never happy with their
Speaker:past. They are never happy
Speaker:with the present.
Speaker:So how to live
Speaker:in the freedom of the
Speaker:memory-free
Speaker:living in the present.
Speaker:And that is what is so important
Speaker:to live in the present
Speaker:moment where you
Speaker:are in relationship with your
Speaker:own higher self.
Speaker:That's so true.
Speaker:And one of the things, look, this
Speaker:always happens.
Speaker:The cats come and join me and
Speaker:they're all over the desk.
Speaker:So I will move my water quickly.
Speaker:So in the foreword by your lovely
Speaker:editor, Lily Ivy, and if
Speaker:I'm looking to the side, it's
Speaker:because I'm reading extracts from
Speaker:the book that we picked out.
Speaker:Lily says in the foreword that all
Speaker:relationships are based on
Speaker:the relationship we have with our
Speaker:self and ultimately
Speaker:the self.
Speaker:So Gurudev, can you start by
Speaker:explaining for us, please, why
Speaker:this was such an important book for
Speaker:you to write and explain
Speaker:the above statement,
Speaker:particularly distinguishing between
Speaker:our self and the
Speaker:self?
Speaker:Right, right.
Speaker:So... The
Speaker:problem they face
Speaker:in relationship
Speaker:with people in the
Speaker:outer world
Speaker:is faced by the
Speaker:relationship we have with
Speaker:our own self.
Speaker:In other words, the
Speaker:way, what I see in
Speaker:the outer relationship,
Speaker:when I am interacting with
Speaker:other person that
Speaker:I am interacting from is
Speaker:from my memory, the
Speaker:relationships I had
Speaker:in my past.
Speaker:So most people
Speaker:do not know that when
Speaker:they are interacting with outer
Speaker:world, they are interacting
Speaker:from their unconscious
Speaker:toxic memory
Speaker:centre, toxic
Speaker:memory stress centre.
Speaker:So they are interacting
Speaker:through their own relationship
Speaker:with themselves.
Speaker:Memory without
Speaker:the word.
Speaker:So this is what most people do
Speaker:not know.
Speaker:So they think that they are
Speaker:interacting with the other?
Speaker:No. The other is
Speaker:triggering your
Speaker:lookalike memory of
Speaker:your past.
Speaker:And then you are seeing
Speaker:what is present through their past.
Speaker:So you are not in tune
Speaker:with what is present.
Speaker:So you are having conflict
Speaker:with the present.
Speaker:But that conflict is
Speaker:the memory in your
Speaker:own self of the past.
Speaker:So you are in conflict with your
Speaker:self-image.
Speaker:That is built into the form
Speaker:of PTSD.
Speaker:Or Post-Traumatic Stress
Speaker:Disorder of the past.
Speaker:So you are
Speaker:interacting with the outer world
Speaker:through that as a reactive
Speaker:perceiver.
Speaker:You are not seeing what you are
Speaker:seeing.
Speaker:You are not hearing what the other
Speaker:person is saying.
Speaker:This is why there is
Speaker:always a miscommunication
Speaker:when you are reactively
Speaker:interacting with the
Speaker:other because you
Speaker:are seeing the person
Speaker:from the past who is present
Speaker:and then you cannot see
Speaker:what you are seeing now.
Speaker:So you are speaking from your past.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So this is what Christ
Speaker:meant when he was addressing
Speaker:a large crowd who said
if you have eyes:see.
If you have ears:hear.
If you have ears:He was not talking
If you have ears:to the deaf people
If you have ears:and the blind people.
If you have ears:He was talking to humanity.
If you have ears:That cannot...
If you have ears:That sees everything through
If you have ears:the past.
If you have ears:So they cannot see what is present.
If you have ears:Each and every thing...
If you have ears:they are hearing everything from
If you have ears:their pre-programmed PTSD.
If you have ears:Therefore, they cannot hear
If you have ears:what is said as it is said.
If you have ears:And that is the fundamental
If you have ears:of my teachings,
If you have ears:that what
If you have ears:you see out there is the
If you have ears:fact that causes
If you have ears:in the eyes of a reactive
If you have ears:perceiver that perceives
If you have ears:from the past.
If you have ears:And this is what is present.
If you have ears:Yeah.
If you have ears:Yeah.
If you have ears:Gosh, we could have the
If you have ears:whole discussion around this.
If you have ears:I know it's a lot to take in
If you have ears:and you realise like relationships
If you have ears:are such an incredible playground
If you have ears:and to realise these teachings
If you have ears:and to actually then apply that.
If you have ears:And I want to bring up you have a
If you have ears:couple of one liners in the book,
If you have ears:Gurudev, that I'd love for you to
If you have ears:elaborate on.
If you have ears:And the first one is
If you have ears:you say no one ever needs to go
If you have ears:into therapy or see a psychiatrist.
If you have ears:We just need to fall in love.
If you have ears:And another place they
If you have ears:love brings the closeness we crave,
If you have ears:but it also reveals what we
If you have ears:want to hide.
If you have ears:So can you share with us what you
If you have ears:mean? What is it that we are hiding
If you have ears:and why does falling in love reveal
If you have ears:it?
If you have ears:So when we fall in love with
If you have ears:somebody,
If you have ears:when we are attracted to somebody,
If you have ears:we are attracted to what we
If you have ears:expect to come from
If you have ears:them.
If you have ears:So what you expect
If you have ears:to come from them is
If you have ears:separated from you.
If you have ears:Mentally your mind lives
If you have ears:in separation from who
If you have ears:you are and expects
If you have ears:the other to provide
If you have ears:so the ego mind is born
If you have ears:as a half polarity.
If you have ears:Male polarity.
If you have ears:It said it is born separated
If you have ears:from female body
If you have ears:for it looks for
If you have ears:other female body
If you have ears:relationship to feel
If you have ears:complete.
If you have ears:So that's why it calls love.
If you have ears:Love is supposed to bring
If you have ears:two people into
If you have ears:harmonious interaction.
If you have ears:Instead, because
If you have ears:I'm looking for the love
If you have ears:that I don't have.
If you have ears:I cannot create it
If you have ears:from outside
If you have ears:so that once I accept myself
If you have ears:as I am, I
If you have ears:have the power to accept others
If you have ears:as they are.
If you have ears:So if just like
If you have ears:I expect
If you have ears:from myself and I cannot
If you have ears:get what I expect from myself,
If you have ears:I cannot get anything I
If you have ears:expect from the other either.
If you have ears:So expectation
If you have ears:is the fundamental
If you have ears:separation between you and
If you have ears:your self that keeps reappearing
If you have ears:between you and the other
If you have ears:in every interpersonal relationship.
If you have ears:So what I'm saying is
If you have ears:your self-image, you are separated
If you have ears:from, you don't have a good
If you have ears:relationship with it.
If you have ears:And that if you tried
If you have ears:to find it outside
If you have ears:it, you won't find it because
If you have ears:the cause is hidden inside.
If you have ears:And so if you remove the
If you have ears:cause, that's why the yoga
If you have ears:of relationship.
If you have ears:Yoga of relationship means
If you have ears:changing your relationship
If you have ears:with yourself.
If you have ears:So right now you are not
If you have ears:in a relationship with yourself.
If you have ears:You are in a relationship with
If you have ears:your mind-made sense of
If you have ears:self-image.
If you have ears:And so everything that
If you have ears:you expect from yourself doesn't
If you have ears:come you expect it
If you have ears:and it doesn't come.
If you have ears:Well, an ego says, let's try
If you have ears:to get it from somebody else.
If you have ears:So they do not want to do the inner
If you have ears:work, to drop,
If you have ears:to accept themselves.
If you have ears:And when you accept yourself.
If you have ears:That is, you can accept others.
If you have ears:So most people's problem
If you have ears:is self rejection.
If you have ears:So.
If you have ears:And then when they are separated
If you have ears:inside, they are seeking unification
If you have ears:of loving relationship outside.
If you have ears:Which is not possible.
If you have ears:Outside is the fact.
If you have ears:Inside is the cause.
If you have ears:So it should remove the fact.
If you have ears:It will be temporary solution.
If you have ears:But when you change the cause,
If you have ears:it's a permanent solution
If you have ears:because cause of separation
If you have ears:and expectation is in
If you have ears:the eye of a reactive
If you have ears:perceiver.
If you have ears:And so no matter where
If you have ears:you go, what you do
If you have ears:or who you are with, you will create
If you have ears:that separation.
If you have ears:But if you are integrated
If you have ears:inside, you will create
If you have ears:harmony no matter where you go,
If you have ears:what you do, or who you are with.
If you have ears:That's why
If you have ears:yoga, is a
If you have ears:self-discovery process.
If you have ears:You're
If you have ears:connecting to yourself.
If you have ears:So when you are in harmony within
If you have ears:yourself, you
If you have ears:can find harmony
If you have ears:in the outer relationship.
If you have ears:Yeah.
If you have ears:Yeah, that's so
If you have ears:beautifully put.
If you have ears:And like last week,
If you have ears:anyone who hasn't gone back and
If you have ears:listened to our discussion on the
If you have ears:ego, you will find the link for
If you have ears:that below the video because this
If you have ears:links in beautifully.
If you have ears:So building on that note,
If you have ears:Gurudev, another
quote from your book:"Any
quote from your book:sincere attempt to create healthy
quote from your book:and intimate relationships
quote from your book:is guaranteed to bring out
quote from your book:everything we've been running from
quote from your book:for an entire lifetime, probably
quote from your book:many lifetimes.
quote from your book:In relationships with others, we
quote from your book:must face all that we've been
quote from your book:avoiding in ourselves."
quote from your book:So my question is a practical one.
quote from your book:These things that come out,
quote from your book:the other uncomfortable, which is
quote from your book:why we might have been hiding
quote from your book:them either consciously or
quote from your book:subconsciously, like guilt
quote from your book:and shame that lots of
quote from your book:people feel.
quote from your book:So how do we begin to actually deal
quote from your book:with these?
quote from your book:That's a very important question.
quote from your book:That is how
quote from your book:to create the relationship
quote from your book:with yourself.
quote from your book:That is why yoga says
quote from your book:your relationship
quote from your book:right now is your identification
quote from your book:with your thoughts
quote from your book:as who I am.
quote from your book:So when you identify
quote from your book:with your thoughts, you
quote from your book:are saying what I think about
quote from your book:myself is who I am,
quote from your book:and what I think about you is
quote from your book:who you are.
quote from your book:Well, that's a fundamental
quote from your book:relationship problem.
quote from your book:But I think about you, and
quote from your book:I believe that's who your are.
quote from your book:That's why I am in conflict
quote from your book:with you, like I am with
quote from your book:my own thinking.
quote from your book:This is so subtle
quote from your book:that most people, they
quote from your book:just make the other person
quote from your book:responsible
quote from your book:for causing them unhappiness.
quote from your book:Actually, it is our
quote from your book:own perception that
quote from your book:is in conflict with ourselves
quote from your book:that we superimpose
quote from your book:over another and say, you
quote from your book:are saying that.
quote from your book:The reactive perceiver
quote from your book:is a subject
quote from your book:and the reactively perceived
quote from your book:person is the object.
quote from your book:So reactive perceiver appears
quote from your book:as a reactive perceived object.
quote from your book:The subject appears
quote from your book:in the reactively perceived object.
quote from your book:This is so fundamental
quote from your book:to all human suffering
quote from your book:and all human miscommunications
quote from your book:and conflicts and all
quote from your book:the rules we play
quote from your book:as husband, wife,
quote from your book:children, employer,
quote from your book:employee everywhere.
quote from your book:Teacher, student.
quote from your book:So we think this is
quote from your book:normal.
quote from your book:What is what we think?
quote from your book:This is normal?
quote from your book:That what I think about
quote from your book:you is normal.
quote from your book:That's the biggest misperception.
quote from your book:You are not at all
quote from your book:what I think about you.
quote from your book:What I think about myself
quote from your book:is real.
quote from your book:No, that is completely
quote from your book:false because what I think
quote from your book:about myself comes from my
quote from your book:pre programme, PTSD.
quote from your book:Or Toxic Memory
quote from your book:stress disorder of
quote from your book:my past.
quote from your book:So I am living in my
quote from your book:past and my past
quote from your book:is having conflict with the
quote from your book:presently who I am.
quote from your book:That is the major
quote from your book:relationship issue
quote from your book:that we have with ourselves.
quote from your book:And then because it
quote from your book:is within the reactive perceiver,
quote from your book:it comes out no matter where
quote from your book:you go, what you do, or
quote from your book:who you are with.
quote from your book:So everything that you have
quote from your book:reactively perceived in
quote from your book:your love life, family life,
quote from your book:work life or social life
quote from your book:is created
quote from your book:by the way you perceive
quote from your book:it, not the way
quote from your book:it was happening.
quote from your book:So that's why everyday all
quote from your book:information you have, all
quote from your book:the anger, fear, jealousy,
quote from your book:all those thoughts are false
quote from your book:thoughts that you suffer
quote from your book:from, that the ego suffers
quote from your book:from.
quote from your book:Mm hmm. So this is
quote from your book:very simple, very
quote from your book:profound truth.
quote from your book:This is why yoga
quote from your book:says first,
quote from your book:clear your mind.
quote from your book:The drive from identification
quote from your book:with your mind that you
quote from your book:are not so
quote from your book:mind made sense of self image
quote from your book:has lived in the memories of the
quote from your book:time and have
quote from your book:literally lived with the timeless
quote from your book:presence.
quote from your book:So that means you have lived in
quote from your book:conflict with yourself.
quote from your book:The ego mind has lived in
quote from your book:conflict with the timeless, soul
quote from your book:presence
quote from your book:that I am now.
quote from your book:So Gurudev, to just go on that
quote from your book:a little bit more.
quote from your book:So in a relationship, I
quote from your book:say get triggered and I get angry.
quote from your book:Right. And so apparently there's a
quote from your book:lot of anger that's inside of me
quote from your book:that I've been avoiding dealing
quote from your book:with. So now I'm getting angry
quote from your book:in the moment and blaming my partner
quote from your book:because they did something that made
quote from your book:me angry.
quote from your book:I'm realising what you're saying
quote from your book:now. It's no, no, no. That's you
quote from your book:know, that's toxic memory stuff,
quote from your book:this anger that's within me.
quote from your book:But what do you actually do?
quote from your book:Because I don't want that anger
quote from your book:inside of me. I don't like that it
quote from your book:comes out. So, I mean, how do you
quote from your book:actually process through
quote from your book:your own stuff as it's as it's
quote from your book:coming.
quote from your book:Like you said that
quote from your book:your partner
quote from your book:made you angry.
quote from your book:What really happened?
quote from your book:He triggered your
quote from your book:memory that made
quote from your book:you angry?
quote from your book:So memory is the cause.
quote from your book:So if you remove the cause,
quote from your book:the problem is gone.
quote from your book:That's how simple.
quote from your book:So.
quote from your book:So the person who triggered
quote from your book:is the fact.
quote from your book:The memory that got triggered
quote from your book:in you is the cause.
quote from your book:Once you know the truth,
quote from your book:you remove the memory.
quote from your book:You're not, you're not believing
quote from your book:in everything you said about
quote from your book:him then you are free.
quote from your book:So this
quote from your book:empowers you to solve
quote from your book:the problem.
quote from your book:Because if you take
quote from your book:the responsibility for
quote from your book:creating that reactive misperception
quote from your book:in the past and
quote from your book:when you allow yourself
quote from your book:to accept it,
quote from your book:you have accepted to react
quote from your book:to the person also.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:It feels easier said than done to
quote from your book:let go of a memory like
quote from your book:that, but they're really stuck
quote from your book:in there. And I.
quote from your book:I wonder how you just
quote from your book:release them and just that easy that
quote from your book:you just do. Are there tools or
quote from your book:practises now?
quote from your book:We are stuck in the memory
quote from your book:because memory care is
quote from your book:the addiction to the pleasurable
quote from your book:events.
quote from your book:And
quote from your book:that has that change into
quote from your book:painful, traumatic events
quote from your book:for the memory is like,
quote from your book:oh my God, I
quote from your book:got it. I lost it.
quote from your book:Now I want to get the positive
quote from your book:one.
quote from your book:So that's why.
quote from your book:And I cannot get the positive
quote from your book:outside because
quote from your book:negative memory lives inside.
quote from your book:So memory is
quote from your book:of the abstractions and responses
quote from your book:to the reality.
quote from your book:So reality is not the problem.
quote from your book:You're writing it through what you
quote from your book:like and what you are afraid of.
quote from your book:Create the separation.
quote from your book:So if you know this truth,
quote from your book:then you learn how not
quote from your book:to reactively think
quote from your book:about the other and
quote from your book:not be the judge.
quote from your book:So I say fire the judge
quote from your book:and hire the witness.
quote from your book:That means
quote from your book:witness what you are saying,
quote from your book:don't believe it.
quote from your book:And you have removed the cause.
quote from your book:That is the yoga.
quote from your book:Yoga means reducing
quote from your book:the modifications of your
quote from your book:mind.
quote from your book:Means witness your
quote from your book:thoughts of what you like and
quote from your book:don't like then you withdraw
quote from your book:from them.
quote from your book:You are freed from the
quote from your book:pre-programmed reactor
quote from your book:seer of the past.
quote from your book:Now you
quote from your book:don't have conflict with the
quote from your book:reactively seen problem
quote from your book:because reaction is remove.
quote from your book:Current relationships
quote from your book:certainly create a lot of
quote from your book:opportunity to practise this.
quote from your book:Before we move on to another quote,
quote from your book:because this is such an important
quote from your book:point you two are discussing here,
quote from your book:but that I've
quote from your book:had a lot of interaction from
quote from your book:listeners and things.
quote from your book:And there's a couple of practical
quote from your book:examples, one in particular
quote from your book:related to what you were just
quote from your book:talking about.
quote from your book:So the last three years
quote from your book:have brought up a lot of emotions
quote from your book:and separation within
quote from your book:families and
quote from your book:within other relationship groups,
quote from your book:social groups as well.
quote from your book:But let's talk about the crux of it,
quote from your book:whether within a family.
quote from your book:So Gurudev, going back to
quote from your book:what you were just discussing with
quote from your book:Danielle, say you've got a
quote from your book:situation where you've got two
quote from your book:parents, but they're split up now,
quote from your book:but they've got custody of a child
quote from your book:between them.
quote from your book:And if there's a major
quote from your book:disagreement between those people
quote from your book:about a quite an important
quote from your book:decision relating to that child.
quote from your book:So it might be medical
quote from your book:intervention or something like that.
quote from your book:We all know what we're talking about
quote from your book:there.
quote from your book:Now, both sides, both parents
quote from your book:have got very different opinions
quote from your book:that are not meeting at all in
quote from your book:the middle.
quote from your book:And of course, the one who's been
quote from your book:most affected by this, a
quote from your book:disagreement, is the child
quote from your book:that, one, might not be old enough
quote from your book:to make their own mind up
quote from your book:or be allowed to make their own mind
quote from your book:up. Or if they do, they
quote from your book:are automatically going to be
quote from your book:disappointing one parent.
quote from your book:This is something that's really
quote from your book:affecting people. How how would your
quote from your book:teachings deal with that situation
quote from your book:of letting go?
quote from your book:So the child happens to be
quote from your book:the issue.
quote from your book:But anything
quote from your book:could be the issue.
quote from your book:Yes.
quote from your book:But when there are two people
quote from your book:in conflict that one
quote from your book:person's likes and dislikes,
quote from your book:attraction and repulsion
quote from your book:comes from its past.
quote from your book:So not two people,
quote from your book:but four people
quote from your book:are in conflict with each
quote from your book:other.
quote from your book:Yes.
quote from your book:This is to understand.
quote from your book:You are not who is trying to get the
quote from your book:child?
quote from your book:Your fear
quote from your book:that was brought on by the past
quote from your book:will see and justify.
quote from your book:He cannot handle it.
quote from your book:Sometimes younger can handle
quote from your book:better than older. Who knew that could be.
quote from your book:But they will justify it.
quote from your book:So this justifying,
quote from your book:rationalising
quote from your book:approach is coming from
quote from your book:the pre-program memories
quote from your book:of the past.
quote from your book:So if you let go of that,
quote from your book:then you can see
quote from your book:objectively who can
quote from your book:handle the child better
quote from your book:rather than subjectively.
quote from your book:So objective seeing
quote from your book:issue for both
quote from your book:of them would solve the
quote from your book:solution.
quote from your book:But the person who is subjective,
quote from your book:one percent subjective
quote from your book:and another is objective.
quote from your book:Objective person will let go
quote from your book:and let it be in the
quote from your book:end will see the proper
quote from your book:solution rather than
quote from your book:solution my way.
quote from your book:Because it is objective.
quote from your book:Otherwise, more time
quote from your book:in conflict with my way.
quote from your book:The objective person
quote from your book:says no right way.
quote from your book:So the conflict just
quote from your book:disappears if both can be objective.
quote from your book:So why would why do we have
quote from your book:a lawyer in this kind of case?
quote from your book:Because the lawyer is more
quote from your book:objective than either
quote from your book:one of them.
quote from your book:Or he can see
quote from your book:if they can make them see
quote from your book:objectively and solve the
quote from your book:problem.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:It's so tricky, isn't it, as
quote from your book:Danielle was saying in the real life
quote from your book:example, because in real life, one
quote from your book:of the partners might be
quote from your book:doing this inner work
quote from your book:and the other partner might not.
quote from your book:So therefore the whole communication
quote from your book:channel can break down.
quote from your book:So that is why
quote from your book:the person who
quote from your book:is in conflict cannot
quote from your book:make the other person objective.
quote from your book:Yes.
quote from your book:So that's why we need
quote from your book:a counsellor.
quote from your book:That's why people go to the
quote from your book:counsellor to see
quote from your book:if the other person can
quote from your book:look at it objectively as
quote from your book:well.
quote from your book:So all
quote from your book:the reactive perceiver
quote from your book:is in a subjectively
quote from your book:in conflict with its own self,
quote from your book:and that is object
quote from your book:and subjectively
quote from your book:in conflict with who or
quote from your book:what is present outside at the
quote from your book:same time.
quote from your book:So just the way you
quote from your book:are in conflict within,
quote from your book:you end up being in conflict with
quote from your book:who or what is present in
quote from your book:the outer world.
quote from your book:Humanity is not used
quote from your book:to thinking that way.
quote from your book:And this is why I
quote from your book:call the yoga of
quote from your book:relationship.
quote from your book:Yoga means how
quote from your book:you bring integration
quote from your book:means yoga internally
quote from your book:rather than seek it
quote from your book:to be from the other.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:It certainly gets difficult, but I
quote from your book:guess that's why we're here.
quote from your book:Nobody wants to do the inner
quote from your book:work themselves.
quote from your book:They said, I want to find
quote from your book:somebody who will do the
quote from your book:inner work for me.
quote from your book:So they will love me.
quote from your book:They will accept me.
quote from your book:I cannot accept myself.
quote from your book:I cannot love myself.
quote from your book:But I'm upset and I'm
quote from your book:angry. I want them to love
quote from your book:me and accept me.
quote from your book:How is it possible?
quote from your book:And then they call it love.
quote from your book:Honey, if you just accept
quote from your book:me, no matter where I am,
quote from your book:I want to marry you.
quote from your book:And that's what they said in
quote from your book:the earlier time.
quote from your book:I accept you just the way you are
quote from your book:for the rest of the life in
quote from your book:happiness, unhappiness,
quote from your book:success, failure.
quote from your book:It's all bull***t.
quote from your book:It's so true.
quote from your book:Well, this is interesting.
quote from your book:Another quote from your book that I
quote from your book:feel like it's relevant to this.
quote from your book:You state that in today's culture
quote from your book:we are more focussed on finding
quote from your book:the right partner rather than
quote from your book:being the right partner.
quote from your book:And this is why divorce is
quote from your book:so commonplace.
quote from your book:And so the question I had when I
quote from your book:read that was, Well, how
quote from your book:do you get yourself ready for a
quote from your book:relationship and how do
quote from your book:you work on yourself so that you can
quote from your book:be the right partner?
quote from your book:So then, you don't
quote from your book:have to be perfect in
quote from your book:self-acceptance all the
quote from your book:time, but you have the
quote from your book:intention for accepting
quote from your book:yourself, then you find
quote from your book:yourself in conflict with
quote from your book:yourself or with the other .
quote from your book:And that is the intention.
quote from your book:So now you can be in relationship
quote from your book:with integrative intention.
quote from your book:So you are adjusting
quote from your book:inside rather than
quote from your book:constantly depending on the other.
quote from your book:Use the relationship as
quote from your book:a training ground for integrative
quote from your book:loving relationship.
quote from your book:You've just really triggered
quote from your book:something good in me there.
quote from your book:So when you were both talking
quote from your book:about that, when you think about
quote from your book:people who work with animals and
quote from your book:animals are reading our energy,
quote from your book:not the words that come out of
quote from your book:our mouths, but really reading our
quote from your book:energy. So we've all seen examples,
quote from your book:for example, where there might be
quote from your book:a very aggressive dog, but
quote from your book:the dog isn't aggressive with every
quote from your book:handler.
quote from your book:They're picking up on the energy of
quote from your book:the handler and adjusting
quote from your book:their behaviour response to
quote from your book:that. So I think this
quote from your book:is where sometimes
quote from your book:animals can be such brilliant
quote from your book:mirrors for us because
quote from your book:they don't have...
quote from your book:When they're reacting, they're not
quote from your book:reacting from their ego, they're
quote from your book:honestly reacting for
quote from your book:our energy. Does that make sense to
quote from your book:you?
quote from your book:Yeah. See, this is
quote from your book:the most important part
quote from your book:that human beings
quote from your book:are born with animal
quote from your book:subconscious, instinctive
quote from your book:inner body,
quote from your book:self-conscious ego mind.
quote from your book:So we are living with
quote from your book:the animal body, with human
quote from your book:mind.
quote from your book:And animal body
quote from your book:does not react because it does
quote from your book:not react from the memories
quote from your book:of the past.
quote from your book:It can react
quote from your book:from the mechanically
quote from your book:lived, bodily felt
quote from your book:memories of the past, but not
quote from your book:psychological memories
quote from your book:of the past.
quote from your book:So.
quote from your book:So. Animal body
quote from your book:and human mind.
quote from your book:So. Human mind acts from
quote from your book:the memories of the
quote from your book:pre programmed PTSD
quote from your book:and reacts to who
quote from your book:or what is present and
quote from your book:that reaction
quote from your book:happens to the body that
quote from your book:is present now
quote from your book:also at the same time.
quote from your book:So how you react to outside
quote from your book:happens, how you react
quote from your book:to your own body inside.
quote from your book:This is not understood.
quote from your book:This is why this is...
quote from your book:This is the revolutionary
quote from your book:thinking, revolutionary
quote from your book:approach to breaking down
quote from your book:all your barriers and
quote from your book:boundaries built with your body
quote from your book:and mind in the memory of
quote from your book:the past so that
quote from your book:you can live in harmony
quote from your book:with the body that lives
quote from your book:in the present.
quote from your book:Because the body is the boat
quote from your book:of God, as yoga says, and
quote from your book:that's what Christ meant when he
quote from your book:said, Your body is the Temple
quote from your book:of God.
quote from your book:That's exactly the way it is.
quote from your book:And I was just thinking, Danielle,
quote from your book:you know, you can see why
quote from your book:if you really have that intention,
quote from your book:then that will be reflected to how
quote from your book:everyone perceives you and the
quote from your book:energy you're giving out.
quote from your book:So it is the intention
quote from your book:so you can enter
quote from your book:with integrative intention
quote from your book:in your relationship
quote from your book:with the other.
quote from your book:So integrative intention means
quote from your book:I would integrate
quote from your book:my inner conflicts
quote from your book:within myself
quote from your book:internally as
quote from your book:it appears to come from externally.
quote from your book:And the other one will also
quote from your book:try to do the same thing.
quote from your book:That's a good
quote from your book:relationship.
quote from your book:That is where I could call
quote from your book:it... Each
quote from your book:one is trying to re-enter
quote from your book:the soul.
quote from your book:So it is for soul mate
quote from your book:relationship.
quote from your book:You are trying to meet at the level
quote from your book:of the soul rather than the
quote from your book:ego mind.
quote from your book:Over to you, Danielle .
quote from your book:Wonderful. Well, let's
quote from your book:grab another quote here.
quote from your book:So to go deeper on the topic as it
quote from your book:relates to ourselves,
quote from your book:but also the awareness of our
quote from your book:partner.
quote from your book:You say in the book, emotionally
quote from your book:charged conflicts may appear to
quote from your book:be directed at the other, the
quote from your book:offender, but we are really
quote from your book:turning it against ourselves.
quote from your book:We are the only ones who are truly
quote from your book:suffering. We may have a problem
quote from your book:with another, but ultimately we
quote from your book:are responsible for taking it
quote from your book:to the level of crisis.
quote from your book:My question here is,
quote from your book:and we touched on it a little with
quote from your book:with the partner not being aware,
quote from your book:like they're not consciously aware
quote from your book:of this dynamic.
quote from your book:They're not alert to the fact that
quote from your book:their ego is playing a part here.
quote from your book:So maybe the partner is getting
quote from your book:upset because they're feeling like,
quote from your book:you know, you're controlling them,
quote from your book:but really you're just asking
quote from your book:for a certain thing to be done.
quote from your book:But their inner issue of control
quote from your book:is coming out in the moment.
quote from your book:How do you help them gain this
quote from your book:awareness? It doesn't seem like it
quote from your book:would be possible to do it in the
quote from your book:moment, but-
quote from your book:That's a good question.
quote from your book:Basically, you
quote from your book:are trying to
quote from your book:live in harmony with the
quote from your book:other by being in
quote from your book:harmony within yourself,
quote from your book:but other is not.
quote from your book:When you accept the other.
quote from your book:As they are.
quote from your book:You don't complain about it.
quote from your book:You don't judge them
quote from your book:or be certain, oh,
quote from your book:who said this is different?
quote from your book:So in the beginning,
quote from your book:she will not accept
quote from your book:you yet.
quote from your book:Because now what are
quote from your book:you up to?
quote from your book:You are doing another game with me.
quote from your book:So if you keep accepting
quote from your book:unconditionally, allow
quote from your book:them to be who they are.
quote from your book:You are also allowing yourself
quote from your book:to be who you are
quote from your book:at the same time.
quote from your book:Then eventually
quote from your book:with few encounters,
quote from your book:she will begin to see that
quote from your book:you are not judging them,
quote from your book:you are not pushing them, you are
quote from your book:not trying to control them.
quote from your book:And they will also begin
quote from your book:to be in harmony
quote from your book:with you.
quote from your book:They will, because you are
quote from your book:consciousness.
quote from your book:Your fragrance of love
quote from your book:and harmony will eventually
quote from your book:to them and they will come back
quote from your book:into it.
quote from your book:I should be making sense of all
quote from your book:these things. I'll go back and
quote from your book:listen afterwards of all these
quote from your book:things I've got to practise.
quote from your book:There's a lot on my list,
quote from your book:but I'm getting there.
quote from your book:And honestly, this book is just such
quote from your book:a wonderful help so anyone who's
quote from your book:listening, please do get the book,
quote from your book:you're going to love it.
quote from your book:So Gurudev, I've got a question
quote from your book:that's big on a lot of people's
quote from your book:minds, which is...
quote from your book:Let's broaden it out now to
quote from your book:our relationships, more to a
quote from your book:society level.
quote from your book:So let me read a quote from your
quote from your book:book.
quote from your book:"Sometimes we must deal with mental
quote from your book:errors, not only our own,
quote from your book:but those of others.
quote from your book:Rumour or exaggeration
quote from your book:are commonplace.
quote from your book:They are externalised mental
quote from your book:processes individuals feed
quote from your book:into one another,
quote from your book:potentially identified
quote from your book:error as false knowledge,
quote from your book:a corrupting form of ignorance.
quote from your book:When facts are exaggerated
quote from your book:and rumours run rampant, reality
quote from your book:is abandoned and valid judgements
quote from your book:are lost.
quote from your book:No one can control the thinking of
quote from your book:others.
quote from your book:Once we see that, we realise
quote from your book:people's thoughts have little or
quote from your book:nothing to do with us.
quote from your book:So one of the things I wanted
quote from your book:to, and then you finish off
quote from your book:by saying recognise that no one can
quote from your book:hurt us and then let unless
quote from your book:we elect to take it personally.
quote from your book:This is quite a statement.
quote from your book:So
quote from your book:let's say that
quote from your book:when most people
quote from your book:who have been abused
quote from your book:in the past...
quote from your book:They are...
quote from your book:They are keeping, like a target sign
quote from your book:on their self.
quote from your book:If somebody even is not
quote from your book:attacking them, they put their
quote from your book:target in front and said,
quote from your book:see, you attack me.
quote from your book:So it is their memories
quote from your book:of the past that feels attacked.
quote from your book:So if you learn
quote from your book:that you are- once you know the
quote from your book:truth,
quote from your book:you know that this person,
quote from your book:what he says, I
quote from your book:never heard.
quote from your book:I am hearing what
quote from your book:is there differently from my
quote from your book:past?
quote from your book:So when you let go of
quote from your book:what you heard as
quote from your book:being false, the
quote from your book:real goal of
quote from your book:your objective
quote from your book:reality will become more real.
quote from your book:You will see the other person,
quote from your book:what they said, what
quote from your book:they said objectively.
quote from your book:You will hear it
quote from your book:subjectively.
quote from your book:Could the presence were
quote from your book:there.
quote from your book:So it is it, is really,
quote from your book:again, seeing
quote from your book:yourself as
quote from your book:a witness
quote from your book:to what you are thinking
quote from your book:and what the other is thinking.
quote from your book:You let the thoughts pass
quote from your book:by.
quote from your book:So that
quote from your book:non-reactive perception
quote from your book:of the objective reality
quote from your book:begins to emerge out of
quote from your book:it.
quote from your book:So in a situation, I'm going
quote from your book:to raise something very
quote from your book:controversial here, but just to
quote from your book:really put it in context for people.
quote from your book:So something like where
quote from your book:society leaders at large...
quote from your book:Something like the Nazis.
quote from your book:At what stage do you
quote from your book:step out of that objective
quote from your book:observation to take
quote from your book:action as a responsible citizen,
quote from your book:to stop some atrocity
quote from your book:or some believed atrocity
quote from your book:happening? Does that make sense?
quote from your book:That's a good practical question
quote from your book:because you
quote from your book:try to be objective
quote from your book:in your relationship with the
quote from your book:other and you try
quote from your book:it and you try it
quote from your book:and you try it.
quote from your book:But they are so far
quote from your book:deep in identification
quote from your book:with their own memory trauma,
quote from your book:they cannot come out of it.
quote from your book:That time, you take the
quote from your book:action and separate yourself
quote from your book:in some way so
quote from your book:that you are not just
quote from your book:living as a victim,
quote from your book:but living freely
quote from your book:to let the other person work it out
quote from your book:themselves.
quote from your book:But you have to try to
quote from your book:use that to let go of
quote from your book:your own past.
quote from your book:And once you know, it
quote from your book:is not responded by the other.
quote from your book:Even after practising
quote from your book:it consistently,
quote from your book:you take new action.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:But then you have done your
quote from your book:inner work.
quote from your book:And other than just take
quote from your book:other as a responsible.
quote from your book:And you are running from it.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:And there's a totally different
quote from your book:result when you're trying to create
quote from your book:change or take action and you're in
quote from your book:an emotional, reactive state
quote from your book:versus having this awareness
quote from your book:and saying, okay, I'm going to let
quote from your book:go of my reaction to what's going
quote from your book:on. But I still see that this is an
quote from your book:okay and a work
quote from your book:from a space where you're more
quote from your book:grounded and at peace.
quote from your book:I think it opens people up.
quote from your book:When you come from that heart space
quote from your book:and you're not being emotional,
quote from your book:you're not trying to trigger
quote from your book:anybody, you're just trying to, you
quote from your book:know, bring sense to the situation.
quote from your book:It is not easy to do that.
quote from your book:No. Because you're
quote from your book:so vulnerable that
quote from your book:you will be abused again.
quote from your book:Right. You would be taken advantage
quote from your book:of. But who is talking?
quote from your book:Your past.
quote from your book:Have to keep dropping your
quote from your book:past again and again.
quote from your book:That means you are advancing
quote from your book:into your inner dimension.
quote from your book:Deliver the whole oneness
quote from your book:within yourself.
quote from your book:So you're doing inner work
quote from your book:while trying to bring
quote from your book:outer world in harmony.
quote from your book:And it's not working.
quote from your book:Yeah. Easier said than done.
quote from your book:But when you keep coming back to
quote from your book:these teachings, it's so...
quote from your book:It's so powerful.
quote from your book:And you have- you can practise it
quote from your book:daily with what's unfolding.
quote from your book:So the next quote
quote from your book:that I want to talk about, it has to
quote from your book:do with forgiveness in
quote from your book:relationships. Gurudev,
quote from your book:you wrote something you said, when
quote from your book:you truly forgive with your heart,
quote from your book:not your reasoning, you
quote from your book:are accepting your role in the
quote from your book:relationship and setting yourself
quote from your book:free.
quote from your book:And as I was pondering that, I just
quote from your book:I started to wonder.
quote from your book:So people say, you know, I forgive,
quote from your book:but I won't forget.
quote from your book:And I'm wondering, is that not
quote from your book:really forgiveness then?
quote from your book:And when you forgive someone from
quote from your book:the heart, do you just hold no
quote from your book:memory of what they did?
quote from your book:Like, aren't you supposed to learn
quote from your book:when people treat you a certain way?
quote from your book:Like, I. I have a little bit of
quote from your book:difficulty understanding the
quote from your book:forgiveness.
quote from your book:So forgiveness.
quote from your book:This is why I say
quote from your book:when somebody gets really sick
quote from your book:because of their traumatic
quote from your book:memory of somebody who
quote from your book:abused them.
quote from your book:So the psychologist will say,
quote from your book:forgive them.
quote from your book:I know this- they know
quote from your book:that it is your own
quote from your book:reaction that is making
quote from your book:you sick to them.
quote from your book:You hold them responsible.
quote from your book:It says, no, forgive
quote from your book:them. They are not responsible.
quote from your book:So if you really forgive them,
quote from your book:it's still not complete forgiveness.
quote from your book:You say I forgive you,
quote from your book:but I know
quote from your book:you abused me.
quote from your book:You took advantage of me.
quote from your book:Still remain.
quote from your book:But if you follow the truth
quote from your book:of it, accept them
quote from your book:just the way they are.
quote from your book:Accept yourself, just
quote from your book:the way you are now.
quote from your book:You are very forgiving,
quote from your book:both them and yourself.
quote from your book:The forgiveness is complete.
quote from your book:It's liberating.
quote from your book:If you could do that it's
quote from your book:liberating. But that seems very
quote from your book:difficult to be able to forgive
quote from your book:some things.
quote from your book:Truth is not easy to live
quote from your book:with.
quote from your book:We wouldn't say it every day
quote from your book:and lies are very easy
quote from your book:because it allows the
quote from your book:false self-image
quote from your book:to survive by the lies.
quote from your book:I'm conscious of the time, so I've
quote from your book:got one more question for me, if I
quote from your book:may, and talking
quote from your book:for all the parents out here now.
quote from your book:Now, in your book, you say
quote from your book:very early in life, I
quote from your book:saw that what weighed me down and
quote from your book:disturbed my peace of mind the most
quote from your book:was holding someone else responsible
quote from your book:for my happiness.
quote from your book:Now, as parents, we often
quote from your book:feel responsible for our children's
quote from your book:happiness.
quote from your book:Can you give us some advice on this
quote from your book:please?
quote from your book:We want their happiness.
quote from your book:Obviously, our parents want
quote from your book:happiness for their children.
quote from your book:But they haven't worked out their
quote from your book:own happiness for themselves.
quote from your book:They don't know how to
quote from your book:do it, and they do not...
quote from your book:expecting their happiness for their
quote from your book:children.
quote from your book:They don't know how to help them
quote from your book:to be happy with themselves.
quote from your book:This is what I'm doing.
quote from your book:I have worked out my happiness
quote from your book:with myself without depending
quote from your book:on other to make me happy.
quote from your book:Once I have that freedom
quote from your book:to be who I am
quote from your book:and I can make what I want
quote from your book:my self, happiness for myself.
quote from your book:I have all the power to
quote from your book:help my children also.
quote from your book:But until then, it's just
quote from your book:the emotional
quote from your book:desire for
quote from your book:my children not
quote from your book:to be unhappy
quote from your book:by how I made myself
quote from your book:unhappy going through the
quote from your book:mistakes I have made.
quote from your book:How is it possible?
quote from your book:It is just some wishy washy
quote from your book:desire that doesn't have
quote from your book:any meaning in real life.
quote from your book:I completely agree.
quote from your book:Yeah. And, you know, children
quote from your book:do what we do, not what we say, so
quote from your book:do animals. So, you know, you can't
quote from your book:fool them. You can't fool
quote from your book:them. They are picking out what
quote from your book:you're really feeling and the
quote from your book:example you're really giving, aren't
quote from your book:they?
quote from your book:So.
quote from your book:So let's have a meditation.
quote from your book:Yeah.
quote from your book:So are you happy to go into the
quote from your book:meditation now?
quote from your book:That would be wonderful.
quote from your book:Yes.
quote from your book:So let us do something
quote from your book:if we can.
quote from your book:If you are sitting on the chair
quote from your book:or you're sitting on the floor,
quote from your book:you can still
quote from your book:do one simple thing.
quote from your book:You breathe out as you bend forward
quote from your book:and breathe in as
quote from your book:you come up.
quote from your book:Simple breathing.
quote from your book:Okay, let's do that.
quote from your book:To change from
quote from your book:your thinking mind to feeling
quote from your book:body.
quote from your book:So this is all meditation
quote from your book:is, moving from thinking mind
quote from your book:to feeling body
quote from your book:to the oneness
quote from your book:of experience called yoga
quote from your book:meditation.
quote from your book:So sit up straight
quote from your book:and move from your hip joint.
quote from your book:Bend forward as you exhale.
quote from your book:Hold the breath out.
quote from your book:Hold it out there momentarily
quote from your book:and then breathe in
quote from your book:as you come up slow
quote from your book:and steady.
quote from your book:Repeat that again.
quote from your book:Inhale as you come up.
quote from your book:Hold the breath in for a moment.
quote from your book:Keep your eyes closed while you do
quote from your book:this.
quote from your book:Breathe out as you exhale.
quote from your book:And then forward.
quote from your book:Hold the breath out momentarily.
quote from your book:Enter into stillness.
quote from your book:Relax.
quote from your book:Come up as you breathe in.
quote from your book:Hold the breath in, relax.
quote from your book:Focus your attention on
quote from your book:the third eye
quote from your book:and then exhale as
quote from your book:you bend forward.
quote from your book:Repeat this two times.
quote from your book:Stay in orderly focus.
quote from your book:Connected to a breath
quote from your book:and the coordinated moment.
quote from your book:Do it on your own time.
quote from your book:Coordinate your breaths with
quote from your book:the movement.
quote from your book:Let your movement and breath be
quote from your book:steady, unbroken
quote from your book:from
quote from your book:your breath and your movement.
quote from your book:Steady, one motion.
quote from your book:Unbroken flow.
quote from your book:In a very relaxed way.
quote from your book:Okay. Let's do the last one.
quote from your book:Breathe out as you bend forward.
quote from your book:Hold
quote from your book:the breath out.
quote from your book:Stillness.
quote from your book:Come up as you breathe in.
quote from your book:And relax.
quote from your book:Now,
quote from your book:next breathing technique.
quote from your book:Is inhale through the nose.
quote from your book:And exhale through a straw.
quote from your book:Open your lips slightly.
quote from your book:And exhale as if you're exhaling
quote from your book:through a straw.
quote from your book:Inhale through the nose.
quote from your book:Exhale through a straw.
quote from your book:Through the nose.
quote from your book:Make your exhale a long,
quote from your book:steady, unbroken
quote from your book:flow.
quote from your book:In a very relaxed way.
quote from your book:Breathe in through the nose.
quote from your book:Exhale through the small opening
quote from your book:between your lips.
quote from your book:Make it long, steady,
quote from your book:unbroken flow.
quote from your book:And at the end of each breath
quote from your book:out.
quote from your book:Keep it down for a moment.
quote from your book:Bring your attention to the third
quote from your book:eye between your eyebrows
quote from your book:and drop into complete stillness.
quote from your book:And then exhale.
quote from your book:So repeat this two times on
quote from your book:your own.
quote from your book:Notice with each exhalation
quote from your book:your mind is completely still.
quote from your book:Empty and peaceful.
quote from your book:You will feel that with each
quote from your book:exhalation.
quote from your book:Your attention will naturally go
quote from your book:to the spot between your eyebrows.
quote from your book:In Yoga
quote from your book:it is called Third
quote from your book:Eye.
quote from your book:Now relax, breathe normally.
quote from your book:The
quote from your book:third exercise
quote from your book:is you inhale
quote from your book:as you take your head back,
quote from your book:all the way back, inhale.Your chin to the ceiling, all
quote from your book:the way to the ceiling.
quote from your book:Do not strain.
quote from your book:Exhale as you bring your chin
quote from your book:to your chest.
quote from your book:Inhale as you move
quote from your book:your head back.
quote from your book:Inhalation is accompanied
quote from your book:by the movement of the
quote from your book:head.
quote from your book:Exhale as you bend forward.
quote from your book:Inhale as
quote from your book:you come back to normal.
quote from your book:And feel the pulsating energy
quote from your book:field in your
quote from your book:brain.
quote from your book:You have created a shift
quote from your book:from thinking mind.
quote from your book:To pulsating,
quote from your book:spiritual energy
quote from your book:field.
quote from your book:And feel those pulsations
quote from your book:trickle down.
quote from your book:Through your nervous system.
quote from your book:Throughout your entire body.
quote from your book:Feel that pulsating energy
quote from your book:through your palms and your arms.
quote from your book:Through your upper body.
quote from your book:And through your lower body.
quote from your book:Feel that.
quote from your book:Move into the deeper
quote from your book:part of your
quote from your book:energy body.
quote from your book:Because you are reactive,
quote from your book:you are completely relaxed.
quote from your book:Your energy field
quote from your book:is undivided, whole.
quote from your book:There is no separation
quote from your book:between your inner
quote from your book:energy body field
quote from your book:and the cosmic energy.
quote from your book:Feel there is no separation.
quote from your book:Between you,
quote from your book:your own inner body.
quote from your book:And the cosmic body.
quote from your book:Feel
quote from your book:the complete
quote from your book:harmony.
quote from your book:Balance
quote from your book:within
quote from your book:and without.
quote from your book:There is no inside
quote from your book:and outside.
quote from your book:To the energy being that you are
quote from your book:now.
quote from your book:Feel that now you have shifted
quote from your book:from time bound
quote from your book:thinking mind.
quote from your book:To Timeless
quote from your book:energy body.
quote from your book:And the soul being
quote from your book:that you are.
quote from your book:Feel the new sense of peace.
quote from your book:Tranquillity.
quote from your book:And stillness
quote from your book:descend upon you.
quote from your book:And shower you.
quote from your book:The Grace.
quote from your book:Divine.
quote from your book:Allow yourself to drop
quote from your book:into the deepest level of
quote from your book:tranquility, peace, and stillness.
quote from your book:And you are connected.
quote from your book:The soul being presence
quote from your book:of God within.
quote from your book:This is what Christ meant
quote from your book:when he said,
quote from your book:be still
quote from your book:and know that I am God.
quote from your book:Realise that you have
quote from your book:awakened and connected to
quote from your book:the presence of God within yourself.
quote from your book:You know that
quote from your book:your identification
quote from your book:with your false ego mind
quote from your book:is dropped.
quote from your book:You have established
quote from your book:a relationship with
quote from your book:who you are.
quote from your book:A divine presence.
quote from your book:Now you have broken
quote from your book:the false relationship
quote from your book:with the false ego mind.
quote from your book:And to identify with as i am and
quote from your book:you have reconnected.
quote from your book:With the being that I am
quote from your book:with the soul presence.
quote from your book:Feel the completion
quote from your book:feel the oneness.
quote from your book:The experience of oneness
quote from your book:you are in now.
quote from your book:It's called by different names.
quote from your book:We call it God.
quote from your book:We call it love.
quote from your book:We call it
quote from your book:I am.
quote from your book:We call it being.
quote from your book:We call it yoga.
quote from your book:But they are all experience of
quote from your book:oneness within.
quote from your book:You have experienced
quote from your book:the yoga,
quote from your book:of relationships
quote from your book:between you and yourself.
quote from your book:With capital S.
quote from your book:The true self that
quote from your book:you are.
quote from your book:Now bring your awareness
quote from your book:back to your body.
quote from your book:And remember
quote from your book:any time you have
quote from your book:any conflict between you and
quote from your book:yourself or you
quote from your book:and other.
quote from your book:Are you in life situation?
quote from your book:Remember, your reaction
quote from your book:is coming from within
quote from your book:you.
quote from your book:Witness and withdraw from
quote from your book:it.
quote from your book:And you will suddenly drop
quote from your book:into relationship
quote from your book:with who you are.
quote from your book:The divine within you.
quote from your book:Practise this meditation.
quote from your book:I've done ten guided
quote from your book:meditations.
quote from your book:And it gives many different ways
quote from your book:to enter into it.
quote from your book:You can select one or two
quote from your book:that works best for you.
quote from your book:Then practise it
quote from your book:again and again.
quote from your book:And learn how to be
quote from your book:in the relationship with yourself.
quote from your book:And practise it in your
quote from your book:relationship with others.
quote from your book:And you will get better.
quote from your book:In the outer
quote from your book:and inner
quote from your book:at the same time.
quote from your book:Now, gradually
quote from your book:open your eyes.
quote from your book:Thank you very
quote from your book:much.
quote from your book:The ten different meditations
quote from your book:I have so far are so powerful, it can
quote from your book:change your life completely
quote from your book:because it has a philosophy
quote from your book:and a guided meditation together.
quote from your book:It's on our website
quote from your book:people can really practise.
quote from your book:And there is no
quote from your book:price to it.
quote from your book:Because
quote from your book:what is worth changing
quote from your book:your life?
quote from your book:It is priceless.
quote from your book:There's no price to it.
quote from your book:So that is why
quote from your book:for many years
quote from your book:I have practised this.
quote from your book:Finally, I have come to realise
quote from your book:how it works.
quote from your book:So that is what I have built
quote from your book:into the meditation techniques
quote from your book:that allows the people
quote from your book:to be free from self caused
quote from your book:suffering in relationship
quote from your book:particularly.
quote from your book:Well, thank you for being such an
quote from your book:example of applying
quote from your book:these teachings and bringing
quote from your book:awareness to all of us and the
quote from your book:tools, from
quote from your book:the book that we can refer back to.
quote from your book:To all that you have on the website,
quote from your book:for those that haven't visited
quote from your book:AmritYoga.org
quote from your book:there are some amazing tools and
quote from your book:I know, Gurudev, you do weekly
quote from your book:meditations so people can come
quote from your book:and get a teaching, enjoy
quote from your book:meditation with you, live on Mondays
quote from your book:and Fridays and all of that can be
quote from your book:found on the website.
quote from your book:And I just want to express my
quote from your book:gratitude for today.
quote from your book:Incredibly insightful conversation.
quote from your book:Thank you. It was so nice
quote from your book:to be with you and Catherine.
quote from your book:So thank you.
quote from your book:Thank you so, so much.
quote from your book:Absolutely beautiful conversation.
quote from your book:I will reiterate Danielle's words,
quote from your book:fantastic resources.
quote from your book:And we will put all
quote from your book:the links to, whether you're
quote from your book:listening to on the podcast, on
quote from your book:Danielle's channel, on my channel,
quote from your book:all the links of how to connect and
quote from your book:get the book access, the meditations
quote from your book:and the other resources that you've
quote from your book:got will be below.
quote from your book:Thank you so much for your time.
quote from your book:We all very much appreciate you.
quote from your book:Question-answer
quote from your book:session for people
quote from your book:who have heard this conversation.
quote from your book:It's not easy to
quote from your book:understand and practise
quote from your book:in a practical life.
quote from your book:So I tell you, as
quote from your book:they cannot question,
quote from your book:I can answer.
quote from your book:That would be wonderful.
quote from your book:That's so generous of you.
quote from your book:So, please, anyone watching this,
quote from your book:please do leave your comments below
quote from your book:or connect with Danielle
quote from your book:or I, both our details will be below
quote from your book:and we can take you up on that
quote from your book:really kind offer because I think
quote from your book:never has there been a time more
quote from your book:when people need to be putting this
quote from your book:into place.
quote from your book:So thank you. We will get that
quote from your book:arranged.
quote from your book:You're welcome.
quote from your book:Namaste